Gay Infidelity Query raised with Worcester Polygraph Examiner
When your lover leaves his partner for you, sometimes it´s difficult to shake the belief that history will repeat itself. This query was handled by our Worcester Polygraph Examiner.
Q: Can a lie detector test prove my gay lover is committed to me?
My lover of several years decided to leave his partner for me recently. I wasn´t the only person he´d cheated on his partner with. However, over time we developed an exclusive relationship, other than the one he had with his partner.
A few weeks ago he decided to move in with me. The separation wasn´t amicable at all and his ex-partner constantly phones threatening to commit suicide if he doesn´t go back.
I am caught in the middle of all this listening to them screaming at each other on the phone and not being able to do anything about it. In another life I would have been described as a “scarlet woman” despite my being a man.
There are times when I wonder how committed he is to me, more especially when he is voicing platitudes to his ex. I am concerned that he might go back to him or maybe find someone new. After all I am a constant reminder of why his last relationship fell apart.
If he´s going to cheat on me and is not committed, I would rather end it now before it can hurt me too deeply. I´m inclined to put him through a lie detector test but don´t know if it will give me the answers I need.
R. M., Worcester
Response from Worcester Polygraph Examiner
With carefully formulated questions a polygraph examination can provide you with much of what you want to know.
You are right to question someone´s commitment when they began a relationship with you whilst living with another partner. The decent and moral thing to do would have been to leave first. But then you were also prepared to enter a relationship with someone who wasn´t free. Is there any possibility that he has doubts about your commitment?
Have you sat down with him and voiced your concerns? Much of what goes wrong in relationships can be attributed to a lack of communication. I suggest you have a ´heart to heart´ discussion and if you still have doubts after that, consider asking him to take a lie detector test.
Our free helpline on 0800 368 8277 is available if you´d like an informal chat about your issue. Please let our customer care staff know that the Worcester Polygraph Examiner invited you to call in for further information.
Please also bear in mind that your partner must voluntarily agree to take a lie detector test. We can give you some tips on how to encourage him if you wish. If you are considering booking a test online, don´t do it unless you are certain that your partner will show up.