Uttoxeter Lie Detector Test concern addressed by UK Polygraph Examiner

This query, regarding a Uttoxeter lie detector test for infidelity comes from someone who is concerned that they may fail it.

Q: Will a lie detector test reveal a conversation I had with my ex about getting back together?

I have been in a relationship for over five years. We were both married when we fell in love with each other, having met at a conference. A couple of years down the line I wanted to leave my wife and she, her husband so we agreed to tell them.

I told my wife first saying that I felt we had drifted apart, and I wanted a trial separation. I didn’t mention my lover as it would have been deeply hurtful to my wife. My lover told her husband two weeks later but confessed to having an affair with me.

My wife and I agreed to separate amicably and have remained on good terms, not least because of our children. When I told her, a year after our separation, that I had found someone else we agreed we should divorce. We broke the news gently to our kids and they were surprisingly understanding.

Unfortunately, my lover’s situation is the antithesis of mine. Her husband is vindictive, and they constantly wage something akin to the “War of the Roses”. Her children despise her and me and naturally this upsets her. Rather than step back from the situation, she plays a game of tit for tat with her ex all the time. If he says something bad about her to the children, she tells them how hateful he is. The stress this causes between us has led to arguments.

She resents the relationship I have with my ex-wife. At one point I told my ex-wife how intolerable I found this behaviour. I suppose I needed a shoulder to cry on. This was a mistake as she thought it might mean we could get back together. She has never stopped loving me. When she suggested it I told her that irrespective of the difficulties in my relationship, I intended to stick with it.

My real worry

Now, due to my lover’s insecurities she wants me to take a lie detector test in Uttoxeter, near to where we live. She suspects I am sleeping with my ex-wife. I am not, and have no problem taking the test but will it reveal the conversation about getting back together that I had with my ex?

R. E., Uttoxeter

Response from West Midlands Polygraph Examiner

It very much depends on the questions your lover wants you to be asked. If it is a straightforward infidelity test your secret will be safe. For example, you will be asked whether you have passionately kissed, had sexual contact or had sexual intercourse with your ex-wife.

However, if your lover suspects that you are thinking about getting back together with your ex, she may want the questions formulated around this aspect. If that is the case, the conversation may be revealed in the results depending on how the questions are asked. For example, it may be that your lover wants you to answer, “Are you planning to go back to your ex-wife?”. Since you are not, you will pass that question with no deception found. But if she wants the question worded “Have you discussed getting back together with your ex-wife?” and you don’t answer truthfully, deception will be found. Nevertheless, you have discussed it and decided that is not what you want to do.

There is a pre-test interview and you can discuss all of these things with the polygraph examiner assigned to your case. The examiner will include this discussion in the results report.

It appears that the route you took to end your marriage achieved better results than the course your lover took. She perhaps can learn from this when she gets the polygraph report.