Valentine’s Day queries about suspected infidelity flood in at this time of the year. Our South London Polygraph Examiner dealt with one this last week from a worried wife.
Q: Will a lie detector test establish where my husband is really spending Valentine’s Day?
I’m emailing for a little advice about my husband. It’s Valentine’s Day next week and I was hoping to have a nice romantic meal somewhere but he says he has to work.
Last year I found out Ben had been cheating on me and I was devastated. At the time I was 8 months pregnant and having a really rough time. I was told I couldn’t have children and when the news that I was going to have a baby came along, we were both so happy. Due to problems with my health the pregnancy was difficult. I was in and out of hospital and there were times I didn’t think I’d make it to my due date. My daughter, Erin was a real fighter and thankfully was born fit and healthy.
I’d pushed the cheating to the back of my mind until after the birth but once Erin was here I sat Ben down to talk things through. He said he hadn’t been able to be intimate with me and therefore the temptation was too great for him to bear. He said it was over and didn’t mean anything, so I forgave him and we decided to stay together for the sake of Erin.
It took a while but now our sex life is back on track. Our life together is amazing and Erin is a fantastic child. There should be no reason for him to go anywhere else but he’s behaving oddly. This could just be paranoia brought on by the original cheating but he won’t let me near his phone. If I ask to use it he’ll dial whatever number I want and hand it to me. He watches me while I’m using the phone and wants it back immediately afterward. He’s also been doing a lot of late nights at the office. When I’ve asked him about it he says it’s to get extra money now we have Erin, but we’re doing OK anyway.
I have asked him outright if he’s cheating and he says he’s not. He was angry that I questioned it because we agreed to put the previous issue behind us. I really need to know if he is and more specifically if it’s with the same person as before. Could a lie detector test help me?
A. P., South London
Response from South London Polygraph Examiner
Firstly, congratulations on the birth of your daughter. You must be over the moon even though infidelity cast a cloud over the happy event.
When couples repair their relationships after infidelity, even with the best intentions, it takes time to restore trust. Our nationwide Polygraph Service is inundated with queries around Valentine’s Day every year so you are not alone in your suspicions. A lie detector test can establish whether Ben is being deceitful or not.
However, bear in mind that changes in behaviour at this time of the year are not uncommon. Ben might be planning something special as a surprise. Perhaps you could ask him whether that is the case. It might spoil the surprise but will do a lot to put your mind at rest.
Get more advice
If you still have suspicions, or would like more advice, please call our free helpline on 0800 368 8277. Mention that the South London Polygraph Examiner has suggested that you call in. You can be certain of a sympathetic ear and that your conversation with our customer service representative will be confidential.
Whatever you decide to do we are happy to help in any way we can.