Christmas office parties lead to more people booking lie detector tests than at any other time of the year. Our North West Polygraph Examiner is working his way through a pile of queries we’ve received and this one is atypical.
Q: Have you got a North West polygraph examiner who can find out if my husband is having an affair with his secretary?
My husband, Jared and I have been having a few issues recently and I’m worried he may be having an affair with his secretary. He’s an accountant and has always been really dependable but I’ve suspected that something is going on for a while.
Miriam, his secretary is the same age as our eldest daughter and my husband is 40. The age gap alone is enough to make me doubt what I am thinking. Would he really sleep with someone half his age? I know Miriam very well and we have always been on friendly terms but over the past few months she is messaging Jared at all times of the day and night. When I ask about the messages he says that she has a few personal issues he is helping her with. Her parents were divorced when she was 8 years old so she didn’t have the benefit of a father figure when she was growing into a young woman.
Last month he announced he had to go away for work. This is unusual for him and I think in the 22 years we’ve been married he’s only gone away on a business conference once. It was supposed to be a Friday overnight and then he would be home on the Saturday. He called me on Saturday to say they’d extended the conference beyond lunchtime on Saturday so he would be staying another night. He got home on Sunday, dumped his overnight bag in the hall and then rushed out to the local pub. Every Sunday he does this before lunch as it gives him the chance to catch up with his mates.
In sorting out his dirty washing, I found a receipt for dinner at an expensive restaurant. Jared hasn’t bought me dinner, other than a KFC in years. When he got home I confronted him and he mumbled something about needing to entertain clients. This can’t be right because he told me the conference was about a new computer package for accountants, not to meet potential clients.
Firm’s Christmas party
We had the firm’s Christmas party last week. I didn’t particularly feel like going but when Jared didn’t seem concerned whether I did or not, I made the effort. At the party Jared spent a ridiculous amount of time with Miriam. After the meal, I made an excuse that I was not feeling well and wanted to leave. Jared wanted to stay and ordered a taxi for me saying he wouldn’t be long.
In fairness to him he arrived home about 40 minutes after I did. But just as we were settling down to a nightcap he got a message on his phone. Since he was getting the drinks and his phone was on the table I picked it up and looked at it. Miriam had texted that she had tried to catch up with him when he left the party but he clearly hadn’t seen her. Was he still coming over on Christmas Eve?
I have to confess I was a little drunk so when he came back with the drinks, I went absolutely mad. He emphatically denied again that anything was going on. He said that Miriam was doing some work over Christmas at home and he was dropping off some files for her on Christmas Eve. Accusing me of being paranoid he asked me how I could possibly think he would sleep with someone his daughter’s age. Calling me disgusting he spent the night in our guest bedroom. I cried myself to sleep.
This feels like the end for me and I’d rather know now than wait for him to tell me he’s leaving me. Do you think a lie detector test would help? We do have children and I think he’d take it for their sake.
A P., Manchester
Response from North West Polygraph Examiner
What an awful situation for you. Living with suspicion is soul destroying but perhaps you can take comfort from the fact that it is only speculation at the moment.
There is a lot of circumstantial evidence that points to your husband having some form of relationship with his secretary but no real proof that it’s a sexual one. However, encouraging a personal relationship with an employee is never a good idea. Miriam may mistake his interest as something else, or she may see Jared as a father figure. Without a lie detector test you’re not going to know the truth of the situation completely.
So in answer to your question, I am Lie Detector Test UK’s North West polygraph examiner and I can help you get the answers you need.
Please call our free helpline and mention that the North West polygraph examiner has asked you to call. You can, if you wish, book a polygraph test online via our website and then we’ll formulate the questions you want answered.
Don’t despair just yet. Your husband may be telling you the truth. If he isn’t at least you will know and be able to decide what the future holds.