Groundbreaking Research into Pinocchio Syndrome

Apr 1, 2021

Groundbreaking Research into Pinocchio Syndrome

Boffins at the Institute of Prevaricating Paediatrics have discovered that babies born to compulsive liars have significantly longer noses than other babies.  This is now known as Pinocchio Syndrome.

Pinocchio Syndrome causes problems in later life if not addressed early on. These include:

  • Crossed eyes – as the eyes tend to focus on the tip of the nose
  • Kissing – the nose gets in the way and can be uncomfortable if It won’t bend
  • Sore nose – caused by misjudging the length and bumping the tip of the nose on walls and doors
  • Sense of being the centre of attraction – people tend to stare at the nose

Living with a very long nose isn’t ideal and resentment can set it, especially when people are made aware that their parent lies were responsible for it.

Professions that will benefit

Rhinoplasty is of course an option and cosmetic surgeons will now be able to better identify the cause of long noses.

Child psychologists have also found this new study of great interest.  When parents take their long nosed children to them, psychologists will be at an advantage knowing that these parents are compulsive liars.  No wonder their children are resentful and belligerent toward them!

Polygraph examiners, when approached by a long nosed client for a lie detector test, will be quids in. If the test is being ordered for one of the parents,  they’ll know the parent is lying purely by looking at the offspring.

Our UK polygraph examiners have the following advice for those suffering from Pinocchio Syndrome:

  • Sit down calmly with your parents and try to encourage them to stop telling lies.
  • Try not to blame your parents too much as they knew not what they did.
  • Make your parents pay for a nose job – it’s the least they can do.

Pinocchio Syndrome could lead to children seeking compensation through the courts from their parents. Ambulance chasing lawyers couldn’t believe their luck when this scientific study was peer reviewed by someone looking at it very closely.

Preventing Pinocchio Syndrome

Parents should certainly consider only telling the truth. Especially pregnant people, normally referred to as women but not by a small minority of people who live to be offended. The moment even a little white lie comes into your mind, think of your unborn child. It’s better to tell the truth, no matter the consequences, than be sued in later life for a lie.

I’m sure we are all tremendously grateful to the Institute of Prevaricating Paediatrics for their valuable research. Spanning several decades and costing millions of pounds in taxpayer’s money it truly is at the cutting edge of nasal knowledge.

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