Derby Lie Detector test query – Explaining how I lost my Virginity

This query came from a person whose arranged marriage may not go ahead due to the loss of her virginity. Here is what she wrote.

Q: Will a lie detector test prove how I lost my virginity?

My parents have arranged a marriage for me and as a Muslim, I am expected to be a virgin. I lost my virginity when I was raped by a family member and I have told no one about it.

At 35 years old I have led a very sheltered life.  My parents are pushing this marriage because they think I will be left on the shelf. I am absolutely terrified because I told my prospective husband how I lost my virginity was in a horse-riding accident when I was very young.

Now he wants me to take a lie detector test in Derby, near where I live to verify what I have said.

Will the test prove I am lying?

M. S., Derby

Response from East Midlands Polygraph Examiner

Yes, a polygraph test will show deception in the results if you lie about how you lost your virginity but I am deeply concerned about your situation.

You live in the UK and it is against the law to force anyone to marry.  You haven’t said that you want the marriage to go ahead, only that your parents do. The idea of having to explain “how I lost my virginity” doesn’t cross the minds of Western women unless they actually want to tell their partners.

You also can’t be forced to take a lie detector test. Indeed I would not administer a test to anyone who didn’t voluntarily want to take one.

However, taking a test would allow the real truth to come out if the questions are formulated correctly.  If you don’t feel able to tell your family what happened to you, the lie detector test report will do it for you

Seek help

There are many organisations to help women in your situation.  I strongly advise that you contact one of them.  It doesn’t matter how long ago this occurred, rape is rape and must be punished. They will help you to report the rape to the police, as you should.   They can also help you to avoid an arranged marriage if that is what you want.

Below are some organisations that can assist you:

Muslim Women’s Network Helpline – 0800 999 5786 / Text: 07415 206 936 / email:  They also have web chat on their website.

NHS Rape and sexual assault referral centres service – here you can search for a centre to help you via your postcode

Lie Detector Test UK

If you have doubts or questions, please call our Free Helpline on 07572 748364. Your call will be completely confidential and we will help you in any way we can.